The Tip Of The Iceberg

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Do You Ever Get So Angry You Want to Cry?

I do. And I hate it.

Because when I’m angry, the last thing I want to do is cry like a baby—or at least that’s how it feels. But it happened to me this past week, over something so small it sounds ridiculous just to say it: an ink cartridge. Yep. That little plastic rectangle somehow managed to send me spiraling.

It started as a simple task: change the printer ink. I’ve done it hundreds of times. But this time, with a new HP printer, it turned into a disaster. I had no idea that HP printers require you to use only their brand of ink. So, of course, I bought the wrong kind. Not only did the ink not work, but when I tried to remove the cartridges, every single one came out except the magenta. For some reason, it was completely wedged in. And in that moment, my brain flipped a switch.

I went from calm to furious to—yep—tears.

I imagined the worst-case scenario: the magenta cartridge would never come out, and we’d have to buy a whole new printer. All because I didn’t buy the right ink. It felt ridiculous and totally overwhelming at the same time. That’s when someone shared an image with me—a simple visual that showed how anger is often just the surface emotion. Beneath it? The real stuff we’re dealing with. That hit hard.

Because when I paused to unpack what was really going on, I realized: I wasn’t just angry. I was overwhelmed, frustrated, stressed, tired, and honestly, feeling a little helpless.

So how do we deal with those deeper emotions instead of letting them explode out of us through anger? I think the first step is identifying them. That takes honesty. I had to ask myself: Why was I feeling overwhelmed? Well, maybe I didn’t set good boundaries that day. Maybe I took on too much—other people’s problems, my own expectations—without checking in with myself.

Frustration made sense too. I know how to change an ink cartridge. I’ve done it so many times. But this printer, this brand, these restrictions—it was unfamiliar territory. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. That can make anyone feel helpless.

And stress? That one was easy to identify. In my mind, this tiny mistake—buying the wrong ink—had spiraled into a much bigger problem. And I was tired. Tired from trying to make everything work, tired from handling one more thing, tired from caring about the printer ink in the first place.

All of this—this emotional pileup—came out as tears wrapped in anger. And you know what? That’s okay. Emotions don’t always show up in clean, logical ways. But the more we can name them, the more power we have to respond with grace rather than reaction.

So the next time I find myself crying over printer ink—or something else that “shouldn’t be a big deal”—I’ll try to pause. I’ll look under the anger. And I’ll remind myself: this isn’t about magenta. It’s about me needing space, rest, understanding, and maybe just a little less pressure to hold everything together.